Because it’s so true. If you say to someone, “Man…I’m just sick of it! Fuck dishonesty!” If they’re response is anything but, “Dude totally! Fuck it!” Then you need to eliminate them. We can’t have people running around this world, existing, who support dishonesty. That is just…well…it’s…hmm…it’s definitely something and it’s not good. And if people give you grief about eliminating them, then you eliminate that person too because obviously they support dishonesty too.
Here’s what’s going to happen right now. My iTunes is on random so whenever the song changes I’m going to blurt out…well…the type equivalent to a vocal blurt…what song it is! Right now, American Music by the Violent Femmes. Have you ever just been feeling fine, healthy all day, then you randomly swallow and you feel a slight pain in your throat and then you start getting worried that you could possibly be getting sick and because you think about it too much you might convince yourself that you are sick and then your head hurts and your throat continues to hurt and you’ve basically convinced your body that it needs to shut down because your sick? 3 Times And You Lose by Travis. That kind of happened to me tonight when I was at work before I got to go home and do work from there. So, I’m trying not to think about it but now since I’ve typed this out I began thinking about it again. So, maybe I shouldn’t have typed it out. But, no looking back now. It is done.
What if wind was a physical presence? I don’t think we would be able to move around. I also think everyone in the world would be perpetually frustrated and contained. But, at the same time I would think if wind WAS a physical being then I’m sure it would be really light so it would be easy to move. Still, having to move things all the time? Man, I’d be so mad. I don’t think I’d go anywhere. I bet the government would design something to eliminate wind. While that would suck, I think I’d be for it. But, maybe they’d leave certain locations untouched and they would still be susceptible to wind. You could go vacation there. It would be called something like, “Windy Springs (For Real).” In The Waiting Line by Zero Seven. And people would vacation there, I think I would vacation there. But, it seems like something you would only do once because ya know, it would suck. It’s like if you went to vacation at a college doing tests and exams and presentations after you’ve already graduated. Nobody does that. So, that is why “Windy Springs (For Real)” would go bankrupt quite instantly. So, my advice is to not invest, do not buy stock for Windy Springs (For Real). Because I can almost guarantee you that it will never make money. EVER. IT WON’T HAPPEN. So, save your money and go buy a slushie. Because slushie’s are awesome. Bouncing Round The Room by Phish.
I have recently discovered that I enjoy scotch and water’s. They are good. Upon this discovery it occurred to me that this drink has finally made me a man. I mean, let’s not kid ourselves, moving boulders and eating grenades has made me plenty man already. But, I just needed that extra push. Well, I found it. I have tried a plethora (good word) of different liquids to make myself more man. I drank oil, liquid possums, and I even tried to drink wood. All of which hurt and resulted in me going to the hospital. They are incredibly bad for you. Please, do not drink any of the aforementioned liquids. Take my word for it. It. Sucks. But, I was like, “Well, I don’t know what else to do.” At that moment I saw a bottle labled, “Scotch.” I thought to myself, “Hmm, I’ve tried scotch on the rocks and it was like tearing my ear drums out. “ So, naturally I didn’t think I’d like it. At that same moment I was thirsty. Dehydrated. You Are My Face by Wilco. So, I wanted a water. But, I also wanted alcohol. That’s right. I created the drink, scotch and water. So, feel free to tell people you know. It’s pretty good. I drank it and instantly grew a beard and have a stupid hairy chest. It was that fast. I became the manliest of mans. Check it in the history books. It’s there.
This getting way too long and ridiculous so I’m going to end it right about now.
OR AM I!?!?!
Yes.
